Made for Another World

If many different things all happen to point you to one specific thing, isn’t it a sign to do something about it? Attempting so many times but still falling short, I don’t think I can bring myself to talk again about loved ones who have gone too soon. I seem to be getting better at writing eulogies for family members in heaven, and I’m not sure if I’m happy about that. Haha! It’s a little too painful. But somehow, in this time when many people lost someone, there could be some comfort for me and for my dear readers in opening up about a touchpoint such as the loss of a loved one.

I really would have wanted to write my backlog blog posts on a chronological order — getting engaged, enjoying our wedding, being married, etc. But let’s skip all that and get to a major milestone: we got pregnant and gave birth to twin boys. And then we lost them. Dustin we lost two hours after birth, and Gian two months later. It is still painful to go through the detailed memories, but I can testify that God’s grace definitely saw us through “the valley of the shadow of death” and comforted us.

Dustin and Gian may have lived extremely short lives, but we will always remember them as the giver and the warrior. Dustin gave everything to his twin brother even if it meant barely having anything left for himself. Our OB said he’s the stronger twin; that is why he kept on giving to his brother. Gian fought hard for life until the end. He only had a short comfortable snuggle with his mom due to strict protocols in the NICU, but in those two months he’s been surrounded by angels who loved him and cared for him nonetheless.

I think there’s little use imagining what Dustin’s life or Gian’s life could have been, because it is not in the plan of God. We prayed hard for God’s will; no other plan or will could have been better. They are in heaven; they’re in the best place they could be. They may have lived extremely short lives, but they already made a significant impact in our lives. The best way to honor their lives is to make their memories a joy and an inspiration, not a source of grief.

Thinking about it a lot of times over, I learned that it’s not about the length of our lives; it’s about our impact and legacy. As John Piper once wrote, “Two minutes is not that much different from seventy years when you consider forever.” In the short time that we’d had Dustin and Gian, they have taught us a lot. And one of it is that we were not made for this world; we were created for eternity. No matter how long or how short our lives are, the bigger question is what we are doing in this life that will impact our eternity. And the bottom line still is: It’s all about Jesus.

Our “family picture” while admitted in the hospital and fighting to save our twins 💜💚

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“If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.” — C.S. Lewis