I used to think tears would keep falling every time the 22nd of August comes around. But then I realize, what is there to keep grieving for? It’s not the number of years that matter after all. A life that had been worth living is a life worth celebrating. Even if it has been cut quite too short, it nevertheless leaves an impact on people who had been a part of it. So, in remembrance of Mama, despite some sadness and deep longing, I give emphasis on high esteem and due recognition.
I have always admired you for being strong and passionate, Ma. You have stood firm beside Papa. You had always been his solid support. You could have been the best pastor’s wife. It is my prayer to be as loving, dedicated, and goal-driven as you are — as a mentor, a teacher, a wife, and a mother. Thank you for investing in my education, for making me the kind of person that I am. I’ll always be proud of inheriting your wit and your genes. I will always keep on making you proud.
A few weeks ago one post kept running in my mind as it kept on being put alive by the memories it carries. Maybe this just proves that… saying goodbye is never that easy. This is how the post goes, as originally published here on April 18, 2010:
Ang Mr Congeniality at best clown ng aking buhay. haha.. Sobrang dalang ko na lang nakakasama at nakakabonding si Papa, kaya sobrang nakakatuwa na whole day ko siya kasama nung April 13.
Well, sa araw na yon I rediscovered a lot of things about my father as I spent the whole day with him. Honest si Papa sa transactions niya. Toward long-time friends slash “business partners”, he sees to it na hindi siya makaka-offend just for the sake of profit or sustainability. Ine-explain niya ang mga bagay-bagay para maintindihan siya ng mga ka-transaksyon niya.
Generous din siya kasi everytime na kasama ko siya, lagi niya ako pinapakain nang bongga. Haha.. Hindi rin siya puro trabaho lang (as we all know, nakaka-burnout ang all work at no play). May time rin siya para maglaro at mag-nap. haha..
Well, I can say Papa is a kindhearted person. Sabi niya, pag natuwa ka sa service ng isang tao/worker sa pagupitan o sa anumang shop, bigyan mo siya ng tip para matuwa rin siya. At sa susunod, mas pagbubutihan pa niya. Naaalala ko, binili niya ung isang malaking isda worth P60 na dapat P40 lang. On the way home, chinika pa siya nung tricycle driver. Tinanong kung magkano yung isda tapos sabi, “P40 lang ‘yan!” Okay.. Papa knew, right?
Sabi ni Papa, pwede namang tawaran yun, kaso naisip niya wag na lang kasi naawa siya sa matandang nagtitinda. Para naman daw kahit pa’no, may kita yung matanda. Hm..
Kaya rin siguro sa liit ng bayan namin, hindi pwedeng lumabas si Papa ng bahay nang walang nakakawayan o nakakausap o nakakakumustahan sa labas. Haay.. Amazing talaga si Papa. Mr. Congeniality talaga siya para sa’kin. Haha.. tsaka Best Clown. Kasi lagi talaga siya nagpapatawa kahit sa mga taong di naman niya kilala (e.g. tindera sa palengke). Kaya mabilis niya nakakagaanan ng loob ang mga taong nakakasalamuha niya. O, sa’n ka pa? 🙂
Alam ko rin naman imperfections and shortcomings ni Papa as a father, a friend, a pastor, an administrator, and many more. Pero amazed lang ako kung pa’no niya yun kinakaya lahat. Lalo na siguro nung first months na wala na si Mama. Haay.. Basta, I’m proud of my father. Proud ako at nagpapasalamat sa Lord dahil sa dinami-rami ng tatay sa mundo, naging anak ako ni Rev Benjamin S. Tandico.
I love you, Papa. 🙂
Saying goodbye is indeed never that easy, all the more when there are thousands of memories that you are holding on to. But do you know when one can smile despite the tears caused by losing a dear loved one? It is when she knows that there’s another chance to meet that loved one again–an eternity to look forward to.
So, it’s hard for me to say that, honestly, I’m missing Papa A LOT. But even with all the tears and the heartache, I can still smile and say, “See you, Papa (and Mama), in Heaven.”