Wedding dresses. A captivating venue. Color motifs. A sweet, shared vow. Be it of someone who is very close to me or someone I just know by name, weddings fascinate me. And I just don’t seem to know why.
This “fascination” is what pushes me to blog now and keeps me from focusing right at the height of my thesising. Recently, everything going on around me seems to speak of weddings–from commercials to movies randomly picked by my movie buddies to informal talks to browsed magazines to songs to my devotions (of course, the topic in my devotions is a different kind of wedding).
Okay, I admit being deeply fond of and wishing to have my own wedding someday, but it’s not going to be anytime soon, no matter how my soulmate friends would strongly bet that I’m the first in the group to marry. It’s just that, I’m so amazed how two people, among billions in the world, would be sure of each other so much they would vow to be together–forever.
Karen mentioned in her blog one time when by chance we witnessed a golden wedding anniversary in Paco Park. It was simple, but very awe-striking. How could one couple stay in love after 50 years of bittersweet experience studded with defeats and victories? Maybe, only true love knows. And that kind of commitment I just can’t fathom.
It’s so easy to feel for someone. It’s so easy to fall in love and go head on to a relationship. It’s relatively easy to decide to propose and marry, all the more when you’ve been getting those floods of emotions for quite a time. What’s harder is to keep the relationship strong even when you’re already seeing the person’s weaknesses, when you try to support him or her at his or her worst. One great test of love is when the person becomes harder to understand, more ordinary than special, maybe even less lovable. To give up is a personal defeat; to hold on is commitment.
And that’s basically the point. Weddings are about commitment–at least for those who see its value. It’s about sharing and consuming deep love. It’s about experiencing wonderful moments together. And it’s also about raising kids together, paying bills together, battling personal and family issues together. It’s about facing old age together. I do not know all about weddings and marriages but I do want to reach that point of looking back and reminiscing, that sweet renewal of vows despite pressing times and defining moments, that cherishing of unending love (so dear future husband, please be strong). But the question for me is, Am I preparing to be fully committed?
Being committed does not start on the day of the wedding. It starts years before–with people that are also significant in one’s life. Even before we get to know that person we’ll be sharing a lifetime with, we’ll be spending a lot of time with our parents, siblings, friends, schoolmates, and many others. And this is where commitment is being trained and tested. Even now, am I being a committed person to my father and siblings? Am I committed to bringing out the best in my friends? Am I a student committed to performing well in school? Am I committed to submit to my cell leader? Am I committed as a soul winner? The other week I came across a different version of an otherwise very familiar passage about love and commitment, and here it goes:
“Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.”
(1 Corinthians 13: 4-7, Msg)
If I’m being true to these statements even right now, then I’m on my way to a great love story. 🙂